How To Deal With People Who Pressure You To Eat Food You Don't Want
OH. MY. GOSH. THIS. CAKE. I. MADE. IS. AMAZING.
You have to have a piece.
“Thank you so much but I’m already pretty full from dinner.”
“No, I’m serious. You HAVE to have a piece.”
“You know, I’m trying to cut back on my sugar.”
“One piece won’t kill you.”
“I’m really trying not to eat when I’m not hungry but thank you!”
“PLEASE, I went to a lot of trouble to make it.”
“Ok.”
Has this happened to you? Was it a friend pushing you to eat something that you didn’t want to? Was it your spouse? A parent or grandparent?
It doesn’t really matter who it was. What it boils down to is a situation where you’re faced with a decision.
On one hand, you can please the other person by doing what they are pressuring you to do and therefore possibly regret a decision that works against your goals.
On the other hand you can make the choice that is the one that aligns with your goals, but runs you the risk of an awkward situation and possibly hurting someones feelings.
I’m not here to tell you which decision to make. I’m not in your shoes and don’t know your friends/family.
But what I can tell you is that you do not need to own that guilt that others try to put on you.
That’s on them.
Cooking food for others can be an expression of love, but that doesn’t mean that you are obligated to eat everything offered to you. It doesn’t mean that you do not love them if you choose not to eat something.
If someone legitimately tries to use guilt to manipulate you (that’s exactly what it is), then what they are doing is not coming from a place of love. We need to be able to establish boundaries in our minds and lives that allows us to recognize when these situations arise so we can make mentally and physically healthy decisions.
Typically an honest conversation done out of love about these boundaries and the choices that you’ve decided to make for yourself does the trick. If the person responds with hostility or guilt, once again, that is their issue and not yours.
Another similar situation that can happen is when someone offers you something that you don’t particularly want, and when you say “no thanks” they respond with a comment like…
“oh c’mon it’s not going to kill you”, or
“you can eat it, you’re skinny”, or
“she won’t eat that - she only eats salad”.
These jabs can have different motives behind them but typically there are feelings of insecurity behind them.
It’s not easy to say “no” to things, especially things that you would like to have and especially when saying no can be awkward in a group. That’s the reason that most people don’t say no even when they want to. It takes discipline and will power that most people choose not to use.
So because of that, it can cause feelings of insecurity when we encounter someone who does use their disciple to say no. As humans, sometimes our natural instinct in these situations of insecurity in ourselves is to lash out against the other person in attempt to bring them down to our level.
Be aware of this situation and watch for it from both perspectives. Watch out that you aren’t the person making the comments to the person saying “no”. And when someone lashes out at you with a jab, recognize that it’s not really a judgement of you but rather an indication of what’s going on in them. You don’t need to do what they want you to do because of their reaction.
Do what you want to do.
It’s amazing how much psychology is tied up in our daily lives and interactions with others. This is especially true in regards to food. Watch for situations where emotions come in and try your best to make the best decisions for yourself based on your goals, and your health. NOT the decision that just avoids conflict or pleases others. And NOT the decision that was motivated by someone else’s insecurity.