How To Make Getting In Shape As Hard As Possible
Everyone is trying to make getting in shape easier…
Here’s what to do if you want to make it as difficult as possible.
Everyone has tips, tricks, and hacks for getting in shape. Heck, even Chat GTP can give you free fitness advice with a few keystrokes.
So instead of just being another voice in the crowd of fitness influencers telling you how to get in shape, let me today be a contrarian.
Here’s what we recommend doing if you want to make getting in shape as hard as possible. I mean, we’re going to make this process so difficult that you’re sure to fail.
Consider this article your “to don’t” list for getting fit.
Planning
First off, you’ve got to do a bit of pre-work if you’re really going to be miserable. Any successful failure mission begins with planning.
What’s going on in your life right now? We want to make sure we’re tackling your fitness goals at the busiest time of year, during the most stressful time at work, and when everyone in your life is in crisis and needs you.
You should also consider adopting a puppy, just to be sure you’re really at your limit.
Set Your Situation Up For Failure
I want you to look around your house. What do you see?
If there’s fruit, hide it. Replace it with a bowl of candy.
Check the fridge and pantry. Any frozen veggies or things you’d consider healthy? Any random berries or low-fat yogurt hiding in the back of the fridge?
Trash ‘em and grab some Ben & Jerry’s ASAP. Were you missing things like Triscuits, Pirate’s Booty, or sugary cereal in the pantry? It’s time to hit the store!
If we’re going to make this whole “getting in shape” thing as hard as possible, we need to make unhealthy choices as frictionless and tempting as possible.
We need to take the same approach with your workouts.
Forget the idea of working out at home or joining a gym that’s convenient. I need you to find a gym that’s far away, with a one-hour commute each way. The more challenging the trip, the more likely you’ll skip, which is exactly what we want.
When you think about what you’re going to do in the gym, the plan needs to be extreme. Think 90-minute hard-core sessions every day of the week, even if you haven’t been working out at all.
Go hard, or go home.
Expectations
Now that we’ve planned for failure, let’s set some clear expectations to make sure it happens.
I know you’re okay with not being perfect in other areas of your life, I checked with your spouse. But rest assured, that’s not going to cut it with your fitness.
If you’re really committed to failure, and I know you are…
We need to set your expectations for progress and perfection as high as possible.
You know how in school anything over a C is considered pretty good? Yeah, that’s not going to fly here.
Here are the rules:
If you miss 1 workout, you’ve failed.
If you eat 1 “bad” food, you’ve failed.
Don’t even consider that sometimes “good enough” is “good enough”. No no… It’s either perfect or it’s a waste.
One more thing about expectations…
You need to forget everything you’ve ever thought about fitness and weight loss.
If someone told you that slow and steady was the best… Forget it!
We want rapid progress and we want it now!
If you aren’t losing more than a pound per week, you’re a loser.
If you don’t P.R. in the gym every day, you need to go home and find something better to do
Once again, if you don’t do it perfectly, you have failed. I hope that’s clear.
We’re well on our way to the perfect plan to ensure your fitness failure.
Let’s talk about your workouts at your far-away gym.
Your Workouts
Ok, pay attention.
To maximize failure here’s what to focus on:
Burning calories
Keeping your heart rate up
Getting in the “fat-burning zone'“
Confusing your muscles
Mixing it up so you don’t hit a plateau
The reason you need to focus on these is because they’re a sure-fire recipe to not make much, if any strength and body composition changes.
You’ll just get obsessed with how many calories you should or shouldn’t be eating and burning.
You’ll drench yourself in sweat every workout but never see your muscles grow.
You’ll jump from program to program without ever building enough momentum to see any real progress.
Doesn’t that sound like the perfect recipe for failure? You’re welcome.
Your Nutrition
Ok, this is important, so listen up.
No failed attempt to get in shape is complete without including some nutrition guidance.
We all know that “good” nutrition means limiting processed junk like cookies, pizza, and cocktails.
So you might expect that our advice would be to eat a bunch of those things if you want to make getting in shape harder.
Nope.
What you’re going to want to do is to completely eliminate ALL of those “bad” foods 100% lock, stock, and barrel.
But won’t that actually make me get in shape, you ask?
Well yeah, if it was realistic, possible, or sustainable!
But we all know that it’s not because cookies are amazing and bread makes life better.
So by completely eliminating all of the foods that bring you joy, you’ll be so sick of all of the restrictions after a week or two that you’ll give into your intense cravings and dive face first into the largest portions of junk that you could imagine.
After you wake up, your blood sugar returns to normal, and your digestion settles down…
You’ll feel so guilty, depressed, and shameful that you’ll realize you’re a complete and utter failure, and throw in the towel once and for all.
Easy peasy.
Ok, last thing..
Comparison
Getting in shape takes a solid mindset, so we need to sabotage yours as best we can.
One of the easiest ways to suck the joy out of your journey is to focus on everyone else.
I’m talking about comparison.
Head over to your favorite social media account and follow everyone you can that makes you feel insecure or upset.
When you’re trying to decide how well you’re doing on your journey, compare yourself to how well you think your friends, coworkers, and family are doing.
They have a totally different life than you, and they’re probably not doing as well as you think… But don’t let that get in your way. Compare away!
Wrapping up
Well, if you follow the advice in this article you’re a shoo-in for failure, and life will really stink along the way.
If you’re interested in learning what the easy path to getting in shape might look like… You should subscribe to our podcast where we give you the real info you need every week.
Have a good day fitness friends!
Jonathan
P.S. If you want an experienced coach to help, apply to work with us today HERE.
