Fear, Panic and The Reality of Feeling Normal Again

We thought we wouldn’t really be affected by Hurricane Harvey as it came onshore near Corpus Christi on August 25th back in 2017.  We were living about 200 miles north east in Houston, TX and although the radar showed heavy rain bands headed our way on the north side of the category 4 storm, we were no strangers to heavy rain. No reason to panic.

The storm made it’s way into Texas on the 25th and brought with it damaging winds and of course a ton of rain.  Houston hadn’t yet seen any rain, but the media was sounding the alarm that it might get nasty.  I left work that day and stopped at the store to grab some extra food in case we had trouble navigating the city for a couple days.  By 5:00PM it was pandemonium at the store.  No bottled water, no canned goods.  I was lucky to find a few pounds of ground beef and some snacks.  Insanity.  

Houston floods a lot, so we had other rations set aside thank goodness.  Even so, when the store shelves are empty and people revert to their primal instincts to hoard and protect themselves, it’s a scary feeling. 

Business as usual on 8/25/17

By nightfall on the 26th it was raining.  A lot.  So much so that the parts of Houston that flood easily were already starting to fill up.  We had friends over at our house that evening and their routes home were blocked by rising waters. We were glued to the TV all night.  Every channel was reporting the increasing flooding on the roads around town.  By midnight the news crews were in OUR neighborhood reporting the rising water.  It was rising in our street too.  

Our neighborhood

By 7:00 AM on the 27th, the city was in shambles and we were scared, just like everyone else.  

Homes all over the place had 2, 3 and 4 feet of water INSIDE them.  The streets in and out of our neighborhood were impassable.  Friends were needing rescue but we could not get to them. We were trapped, but we were fortunate and thankful to be dry. 

Rescue workers, first responders, the Coast Guard and ordinary citizens sprung into action rescuing people from their homes in boats and helicopters.  The Cajun Navy from Louisiana caravanned to Houston to save thousands.  The city’s resources were beyond their capacity to help everyone that needed help,  It was absolutely heroic and terrifying at the same time.  

Our dear friend Ileya took this photo from her home.

There were brief times when the rain would let up, but it just. kept. raining.  The storm was stalled.  And then it went back into the Gulf of Mexico, picked up more steam and brought even more intense rain on a city already at the brink.  

There are 7 Million people in the greater Houston area and everyone except the amazing souls out rescuing people were stuck in their homes, glued to the news 24 hours a day for about 5 days.  

It was an experience we will never forget.  We went through ALL of the emotions.  We lost sleep wondering if we would awake to water on our bedroom floor when we stepped out of bed.  We were scared that our food wouldn’t last us.  We worried about looting.  We didn’t know if our power would go out and we would be in the dark as everything in our refrigerator spoiled.  Our phones were never detached from the charging cord for fear that we’d lose touch with our friends and family.  I felt extreme times of “survivors guilt” as I watched men out saving lives while I watched on TV.

We couldn’t imagine a time where things could possibly ever feel “normal” again.  

Everything was so far from normal that it seemed impossible.  

Will we ever be able to drive the streets freely again?

What would that even feel like?

Will there be gas in the pumps some day?  

Will the store shelves have food on them again?

If they do will people be fighting each other for what’s available.  

It had only been 5 or 6 days, but the feelings were intense and very real.  It felt like “normal” was a lifetime ago. 

The flood waters receded and it was safe to leave our neighborhood.  It felt eerie, and sad.  Peoples lives were turned upside down by rising waters that forced them from their homes.  Every possession they owned was destroyed and would eventually end up on the curb forming a line blocks long that the city disposed of. 

But we slowly got back to life.  We went and checked on Blakley’s gym.  By a miracle, it was dry and she was able to reopen it.  I went back to work, helping restore people’s homes.   The grocery stores reopened and replenished supplies in the coming weeks.  The gas stations one by one pulled the plastic bags off the pump handles.  We all banded together, but I’d be lying if I said that things felt “normal” right away.  It takes time to heal from extraordinarily stressful times.  The feelings we have during times like this are real and they don’t just “go away” in an instant. 

We’re going through one of those extraordinary times right now. 

It’s ok if you’re scared like we were as we watched the flood waters rise around our neighborhood. What we’re going through now is a totally different experience than a hurricane.  I acknowledge that. A contagious virus is not a storm on a radar.  But a lot of the feelings are the same.  

Stress is high.

We’re uncertain what the future holds and that makes us anxious.  

We wan’t to know that we’re going to be ok.  

We want to feel “normal”.  

We want you to know that in time these feelings do go away.  Or at least they fade over time once the crisis has passed.  They did for us.  

In the coming weeks, months and years lives got back to normal and the fear, stress and panic we felt during those days trapped in our homes no longer sat in our stomach like a rock.  

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that it will not be like this forever.  

We will feel normal again.  

Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but we will.  

Let’s try our best in the meantime to focus on the things that we can control and care for ourselves and those around us the best that we can. 

All our best.

We’re here if you need anything.